[URL]http://www.dudehisattva.com/[/URL]\n\n1/20/06 Michael Richards In, John Bolton Out as New Bush Ambassador to\nUN\n\nWashington, DC (Rotters) - The White House this morning, in a hurried\npress conference, announced that the president would be withdrawing his\n\ncontroversial reappointment of John Bolton as US ambassador to the\nUnited Nations. Perhaps deciding that the inflammatory nomination was\nnot worth the battle in Congress, it was announced that Bush would be\nputting forward the immediate nomination of comedian Michael Richards\nto fill the post.\n\n\nThe White House cited the success of its venture into the entertainment\n\nbusiness with the appointment of Fox network's Tony Snow as press\nsecretary to fill the vacancy left by Scott McClellan.\n\n\n"Michael had a little slip up and he apologized immediately," said an\nanonymous White House source. "This is precisely the rapid thinking on\none's feet that this position needs. We regret Michael's recent loss of\n\nhis cool, but he was in the midst of a comedy routine, and sometimes\nthings can be taken the wrong way in the heat of the moment... it's not\n\nlike he called someone a macaca or insulted our troops or something...\nbesides, most of the audience seemed to be really with him in his\ncomments... that's exactly the bold leadership that we want at the UN\nto advance America's objectives."\n\n\nBolton's parting with the White House on the surface appeared to be\namicable. Rumor had it that he was able to secure a multimillion dollar\n\ncontract with Quaker Oats Inc. as their new spokesperson, replacing\nthe aging Wilford Brimsley. Quaker is set to launch a new "get tough\nwith cholesterol" advertising campaign which will spotlight the talents\n\nof the frequently acerbic Bolton.\n\n\nPresident Bush, just returned from what he described as a smashingly\nsuccessful trip to Indonesia, stated that he was looking forward to\nworking with Richards. "I'm a big fan," stated Bush, "I've got all his\nepisodes on tape. Lot's of folks were into that whole Ross/Rachel\nthing, but I always thought that he carried the show... How YOU\ndoin'?... that still cracks me up... and I use it sometimes myself!"